Every now and then a dream comes true. As a toddler horses ran in my fantasies but it wasn't until middle age when my dream suddenly came true. A word to the wise: That wish can come true faster than you expect! My dream came in the form of a tall, bay OTTB with a white diamond on his head. I named him d,Artagnan; he just looked like a noble knight. It turns out he was more like a giant golden retriever! This past August I lost my noble knight to neurological problems and I was heartbroken. The loss of a horse is so very hard on us as horse mommas/daddies but what about the rest of the herd? Yes, horses grieve the loss of their friends and other horses. Herd members support each other in the loss. I had two horses: Dar and his girlfriend Calypso. When I moved from Washington state to Florida I bought Calypso so Dar wouldn't be alone. Now Calypso is alone. I know she can survive living alone but will she be happy?
Calypso, my beautiful draft cross, has always been a bossy mare from the moment I saw her in the paddock at the barn where I was taking lessons. She snapped at a horse when they moved in on the treat I was offering her at our first meeting. She is now an only horse. She has no herd mate to snap at anymore. There is a good bit of controversy surrounding keeping horses alone. After all horses are herd animals and need each other for survival in the wild. Domestically kept horses live in a different dynamic. They are relatively safe even if they do spook at the random plastic bag rolling through. Their food is provided, they have water, a place to sleep in a fenced paddock, pasture or stable safe from most predators. Do they need other horses to lean on? Or do they become closer to their owners once on their own? There are actually several possible answers to these questions.
The saying goes "different strokes for different folks". If it had been Dar that was left alone after my mare being gone there would be no question I'd have to start searching for his new herd mate. He would need that leadership and stability of a friend. Calypso is still the boss. Whether a horse can stay by himself depends on the horse. Some horses develop a more intimate relationship with their owners which shows benefits under saddle. It's well established that the trust between horse and rider is the building block of good training. At first Calypso looked for Dar; calling for him. It was heartbreaking but in a matter of days she seemed to realize that she was momma's only horse. After three days her Princess behavior came out. She was it! She's the one! Momma had to bow to her whims! She became almost haughty in her regal ways! She was now momma's princess and she knew it. We enjoy an even more intimate relationship than we had before. Now, do I adopt or buy another horse for her to boss around? There are variables; who says it needs to be a horse?
When I was first looking for a horse pictures were sent to me of my Dar in a barnyard with a bevy of goats, sheep, chickens and I think a Shetland pony. It wasn't difficult to see my first horse; he towered over everybody else! Having a farm that houses a horse means other barnyard critters can live there too. I have seen mini horses kept with goats, horses kept with cows, or even a pony kept with chickens. I have had ducks along side my horses. Ducks are flock critters for the same reason horses are herd animals. There's safety in numbers. I had five ducks named for the Addams Family characters. Due to predators Thing is the only duck left. When he became the last duck he was terrified and hiding staying as small as he could get. The next thing I know my duck Thing latched onto Calypso. My horse became his flock. He focused on me and Calypso to keep him safe. Calypso started treating him like a small, feathered horse; she flattened her ears if he so much as looked at her feed bucket and, of course, he respected her space and backed off. Calypso now looks for Thing as part of her little herd. Be it duck, goat, chicken or cow some horses can handle being the only equine. The ideal is a herd of horses and because of our equine community we have horsey neighbors but for now Thing and Calypso are quite happy together.
They say necessity is the mother of invention; depending on the horse sometimes her herd can be made up of who is convenient. I don't condone keeping horses alone but I do say watch your horse's behavior. At the very least an independent horse can buy you some time while you hunt for a new horse. If your horse can call over and see neighborhood horses whether across the fence or a house over it could be all she needs. If you decide your horse baby needs a friend I always recommend adopting from a horse rescue. There are always broke horses ready for a new rider and some that would create beautiful lawn ornaments while living their best life with you. I have watched Calypso and she seems quite content with her friend Thing for now. I'm planning a move because I want more horses and I do keep boarders from time to time so Calypso won't be the only equine for long. However, we have to take Thing everywhere we go; he's buddy sour!
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